My head has been swirling over the last few days with all of the things I could write about this week. From the two year old who was slapped in Walmart (http://abcnews.go.com/US/georgia-man-slaps-crying-child-wal-mart-hits/story?id=8492316), to the link between food, pharmaceutical companies and government subsidies (http://www.allergykids.com/) to Obama’s health care address ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1YNF9I25yU) or school comments (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZZ6GrzWkw0) to prevention of the flu virus via increasing use of Vitamin D in your child’s diet (questions, email Dr. Ed at drehs@comcast.net). So many current events, so much new information, so little time!
Instead of starting with a rant regarding any of the above (I reserve the right to do this at a later time, however.), I instead decided to write about our day and how I can be inspired, dismayed and sometimes overwhelmed, all at the same time, about the current state of our world.
Today, for the first time, our five year old got to “officially” meet one-on-one with his kindergarten teacher. He was nervous and the trip to his new school was anything but peaceful. Todd and I got into a huge argument before heading out and Connor didn’t want to change his pants or eat. Drew was crying and wanted out of the car. The stress was palpable.
When we arrived, we were all strung out. I reverted to my “efficient, what do we need to do act.” Todd, overcompensated with trying to be “extra nice” to both boys and not listening to anything our new teacher said. Connor clung to Todd and me and refused to do any of the activities set-up for him (Of course he did with the anger between Todd and I in the room!) and Drew pulled on my shirt for the first part of the meeting saying “Mommy, I need you!” (Makes sense after our trip to school!).
So, what do I have to say that is positive? I have to say that our teacher was amazing. She sat, gave us space, waited for us to settle and was patient. What a kind, understanding and inspiring woman. She was gentle with Connor and Drew and didn’t force anything on them. And once we settled she simple said, “I remember how tough those days were.” Talk about non-judgment! Who knows, maybe she was judging us inside, saying, “these people have a radio show about parenting!” but she didn’t let on. This seems to me to be what being in “a village” is all about. How relaxing and disarming it was to have her not judge our stress and shortcomings but instead to be supportive and kind.
I just went back and re-read the article about the Georgia man who slapped the 2 year old in Wal-Mart. I believe his exact quote was “If you don’t shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you.” And then, he slapped her four times to “shut her up.” Where was the, “wow, looks like you are having a tough day” or the “can I help you in any way?” What has happened to community? We are all in this together, we are all interconnected, and it’s up to all of us to support one another. So, this man is an extreme example, but, he just acted on the energy that many people shoot parents each day.
That little girl that man slapped, will some day be deciding what happens to him. That is, unless he is dead first. Where did we go wrong and forget that children are our legacy? Whether or not they are mine or yours, they belong to all of us. Where did we loose site of the fact that supporting each other is what being on this planet is all about? When did we let money take over (pharmaceutical companies being linked to the FDA and beyond) and loose site of the fact that we are all in this together? If we poison our planet, with thoughts or chemicals, we poison ourselves. And finally, who was it that decided our lives should be based on fear rather than honesty and truth?
So, I say, it must be us, the individual parents that take the first step. Make the difference in the long run. We must first stop judging each other and realize that the majority of us are doing the best we can with the tools that we have. It must be the individual parent that stands up and says, enough! It is time to take back our community, rebuild our village in a way that is welcoming to all (don’t get me started on… when kids become the lepers of our society… “children should be seen and not heard.” Oh, that is right, that is what I grew up with at my grandparent’s house!), look beyond what will “make me the most money” and to what will allow me to thrive as well as support future sustainability.
I believe the conversations have already begun; the seeds have already been planted and are already starting to grow. It is now the masses, us, who need to water them. I certainly saw fertile ground today at my son’s new grade school and at our co-op last night.
I am inspired by the fact that, starting next week, our new kindergarten teacher will support our family by gently guiding and teaching my child how to, not only read and write, but take part in healthy community. There is good in the world, in fact there are miracles all around us. As soon as we turn off the static, focus on being present, and realize we are all human, life seems to get a whole lot easier. At least it did for us, today. After we let go of being angry and triggered, Todd and I moved into being present with our children, there in that classroom, with our new teacher. Then, we walked down to the river after the meeting and skipped some rocks, talked about seeing our new school and apologized to each other. In the end, we held on to the fact that we are all human, that we all make mistakes. We scream sometimes, our children scream sometimes, and then we move on.
