Spanking is still an issue, as Laura and Todd went to a mediation with the In-Laws and it helped. At least now we all understand each other even if we don’t agree. Even though this has been tough, it’s been healthy since it has opened up lines of communication and isn’t that what we all need?

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Todd and Laura returned home to find that Grandma had spanked their 3 and 6 year olds. No matter what the reason, it is their belief that there is no reason to ever hit a child. It may spark a debate at your home. What to do now? Don’t allow the Grandparents to see the grandchildren? Spank the Grandparents? Or let the boys come up with the discipline for a Grandmother who made a poor decision?

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Peggy O’Mara, Editor in Chief and Publisher of Mothering Magazine and Mothering.com joined us. Always topical, always to the point, always hilarious, Peggy spoke of becoming a grandma, her recent award, Co-Sleeping and how parents need to parent in this day and age.

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What a day, babysitter cancels, fight ensues with husband, and diarrhea takes over my little guy and grandma steps in to help…

Sometimes, support and trust come from the places you least expect them…an air-conditioned office (it was 100ish degrees in Portland today), a frantic grandma (who usually is overscheduled)  and a supportive village (husband, business partner, intern, etc…). 

What all of this made me realize is that we do really need a village to raise our children and that often times that village is right in front of us if we just ask… and trust. 

I have decided to live my life based on two mottos “it is all perfect” and “this too shall pass.”  We will see how it works out.

In the end, the day came to a close in a relaxed manner with the stress behind us… for now.

Love, Laura

Thank you! Thank you to with Jill Milligan, who authored Grandma Rules and was our guest on the show. It was really nice to connect with someone from the older generation who gets it. She wasn’t all high and mighty about how the younger generation doesn’t respect grandparents. She turned that philosophy on its head. Maybe Grandparents need to respect what the younger generation is trying to do. Life is crazy, life is tough and if that means that Grandparents need to follow the instructions of younger parents then so be it. Maybe I shouldn’t spoil my grandkids with ice cream, double cheese grilled sandwiches and TV. Maybe I should do it differently. Maybe I should do it with Grandma Rules, which is there aren’t any rules at all.

Personally, I feel like Grandparents struggle to let go of the parental reigns. I may need to remind them, these aren’t your children. You are out of touch with parenting young children. You did your job now move on. Am I crazy for saying this? Am I out of line?

I am not here as a parent to make my parents feel good about there parenting. I am hear to raise my children the best way I can and that may mean I do it differently. That may mean that parenting has evolved. That may mean that Grandparents haven’t yet.

I am writing this before our interview with Jill Milligan, who wrote a book called, Grandma Rules. I suggest you check back and see if I have written a post show blog. I usually do. Her book appears to be very light hearted and fun but it fires me up a little. Hear me out, Laura and I are trying to raise our children differently than my parents and Laura’s parents did. I want to be clear. They did the best with what they had. But that being said, sometimes Grandparents think they deserve respect from a 5 year old because they are 65 and I completely disagree. In fact, I get upset when I see a grandparent disrespecting a young child with shame, blame or other harmful words. Just because it happened to them when they were kids doesn’t mean they need to pass it on. It needs to stop and taking off a belt, or punishing a child is not the way to get the positive message across.

Now I am sure Jill isn’t focusing on this in her book. I haven’t read it yet, but Grandma Rules. There is much humor there but also some serious issues. A grandma Rule may be that they get to eat Ice Cream and watch TV for an hour right before they go to bed. I don’t like that rule. I would be much more inclined to support, a big bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce and a book or a board game. No TV. There are studies out that show how bad TV is to watch right before you go to sleep.

As for my parents, they are getting more and more used to the way Laura and I do things. Personally, I don’t think they like it, but they are keeping their mouths shut more often and letting me handle a “bad” situation. Usually these “problems” are so easy to fix. I just connect with my kid for a minute or too and presto, problem solved. Seriously, it works. My parents might say something like, “Big boys don’t cry.” or “If you want some ice cream, you better stop crying.” Do I ever get so frustrated at my kids that I want to say things like that? Yes. Have I? Probably, but it is something I aim not to do and I apologize for it, because really all a child wants is love and connection, especially when they are young. For those of you with teens, I am not there yet, but if you read up on the comparisons between 0-8 year olds and 13-18 year old, you will find they are almost identical in many ways. I suggest you scan through the book, Natural Learning Rythms – it’s right on and magical.

Many parents don’t agree with me, in fact there are a few in my own family. I will say this, my parents have 3 kids and 6 grandchildren. Of the 9, 5 can be judged pretty impartially by me. I would say my parents and my brother and his wife have done a very nice job. Of course, I will also say that of the 5, three have utilized therapy at some point with numerous benefits. I course, I won’t name names…

But back to Grandparents, I think the biggest problem I have with them is that what worked 40 years ago, may not be so good anymore. Get with the times. See the changes. Grandparent Rules? There are no rules, because each day something new is discovered and that should what we all strive for.

As I prepare for Jill Milligan to join us on today, July 21st at 10am PST, I got to thinking. Who is the best or the worst Grandmother on TV? Jill’s husband wrote for comedy TV for thirty years including shows like The Jeffersons. Would Weezie make a perfect Grandmother? What about The Late Bea Arthur from Golden Girls? Roseanne?  Think back and let me know who you think would make the perfect TV Grandmother…