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Have you ever yelled at your kids? I have so I knew going into this show I would be a little apprehensive. However, I also knew I would get answers and I did from our guest Dr. Laura Kastner, author of Getting to Calm and a Psychologist who teaches up at UW in Seattle.  If you ever struggle with raising your voice at your children, get the tools to help you be a better parent on this episode.

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What do you do when you aren’t happy with your child’s school?  Sammy Banks joins Laura for an interesting chat about the different approaches to parenting.  How much should someone engage with their child’s school?  What are we responsible for as parents?  Also, this week’s Mansfield Moment and Parenting Pipeline.

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Dr. Rebecca Sutton of Environmental Working Group joined us to talk about the recent report released that states  the findings that cleaning supplies used in schools and in your home can contaminate the air, which can lead to early onset asthma and cancers. This is a scary interview, but also an important one for all parents to hear because of the alternatives and information that is provide, which save the lives of your children.

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Baby Einstein admits, “Our DVD is not educational”. What were they willing to do for you?  Plus, a  study is released that says kids, aged 2-5, watch 32+ hours of TV a week. Isn’t that how much you watched?

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Samantha Wilde, author of “This Little Mommy Stayed Home” described her most recent novel and the dark abyss that can be the first nine months of motherhood.

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September 15th -Dr. Bob Sears on the Swine Flu, the regular Flu, their vaccinations and his new book, Happy Baby: The Organic Guide to Baby’s First 24 Months.

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Laura is out of town this weekend and it made me think, is it easier with one parent? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want it to be just me. I love Laura and I love what we are building together, I just find it so interesting that when it is either her or me taking care of the boys it’s so simple. Sure there are tough times when I clash with them, but getting to the other side seems to happen so much faster.

From my point of view it’s easy with just one of us. There is no one to contradict what I say to the boys. We can work on my level, which may be lower than the boys, but it is my level.

There are difficult things in marriage, the main one being money but how to handle children is difficult as well. Laura does a great job and most of the time I love watching her do a wonderful job. She can really connect with them, but there are times when what she does frustrates me. Who else feels this way about their spouse? If you are a woman reading this, please ask your husband about it, I would be very interested in seeing their response.

How do you keep your child from being indoctrinated? It seems like a legitimate question, but why in the world is it even being asked?

In some ways this shows how far the conservative right has moved in the past 10 years. It’s scary. Parents left and right across this country think that President Obama will be pushing an agenda on kids. They are right, he will and it’s horrible. In fact, here is a comment by Jim Greer, chairman of the Florida Republican Party, who has accused the president of attempting to “indoctrinate America’s children to his socialist agenda.” According to Greer, “the idea that schoolchildren across our nation will be forced to watch the president justify his plans for government-run healthcare, banks and automobile companies, increasing taxes on those who create jobs, and racking up more debt than any other president, is not only infuriating but goes against the beliefs of the majority of Americans, while bypassing American parents through an invasive abuse of power.”

First of all, that’s way over the kids heads. Second, they will be bored out of their minds if he talks about that stuff.

I don’t know, but doesn’t this sound horrible: go to school, get good grades, work hard and create an opportunity for yourself to have success in the future that awaits. Why would we want to inform our kids that’s important? How could any parent let their child hear that?

I can’t tell if I want to laugh or cry? Parents are doing everything they can so their child doesn’t have to hear President Obama’s words.

Remember the phrase, “Keeps your friends close and your enemies closer.” Conservatives, if you run from your enemies you will never know what they are doing. Plus, we don’t have kids to guide them and manipulate their minds into thinking the way we think. We are here to allow them to become their own men and women, right? We can give our own advice and let them decide. More parents trying to control their kids. It’s wrong in my opinion.

I would want my children to hear what a Republican President has to say. Sure, it may create some issues, but maybe that will create a discussion at our dinner table. Well, my kids are 2 and 5, so maybe not, but at your table, if they are 10 and above that would be a good thing, right?

Honestly, I would really like to hear from the parents who don’t want to have their children listen to Obama, because I can’t figure out what is wrong with it? And in case they didn’t know, back in 1989, when those parents were were teens or around there, President Bush spoke to school children all over America. Do you remember what he said? Did he indoctrinate you?

His talk was about drugs. A good idea, but how did it effect you? Did you not take drugs because of that speech? I expect the outcome to be the same with this speech. A president talking to our children about being a good citizen, about increasing their chances for having a successful future is a good thing. Don’t you want that for your kids?

There is no agenda in this speech. There is only a desire to better the country. Isn’t that what George W wanted? It’s up to you to decide if we are better off now than we were 9 years as a country.

I just saw the movie 17 Again. Laura turned it on and the kids were asleep while I was working. She always says she wants to go to bed early but tonight would not be that night. Matthew Perry always makes me laugh. I started laughing at him during the Friends years, (“That would be perfection.”) I only started watching it because of my Fraternity Brother, David Schwimmer, and the fact that I had a crush on Courtney Cox. Still do…what?  There’s nothing wrong with a 41 year healthy male, having a crush on a married and probably untouchable and unattainable woman.  Yes, Laura knows. Anyway, the movie also had Zac Efron. It’s the first movie I have seen with the kid. Yup, Laura thought he was stinkin’ hot. She gets Zac, I get Courtney. It’s America.

So, it got me thinking about how I often hear people say, “If I could only do it all over again.”  The movie made me laugh out loud; it’s probably what woke the kids up. But how perfect, here I am watching a movie about having a Do-Over and here comes my five year old down the stairs to sit with us.  If I had a Do-Over, he wouldn’t be there.

Yeah, it’s 1am and I’m a little sappy here, but you know what? If you asked a Dad, at least a Dad who listens to our show and asked him if he wanted a Do-Over, I bet you would get the same reaction. “No Way.” All that we have done in our lives, good and bad has led us to this very moment. It has lead us to have these wonderful children, these wonderful spouses, ok for some, those spouses turned out no so good, but it has lead us to being right here and there is no place that I would rather be, than holding my 5 year old (2.5 year old sleeps like a log) and whispering in his ear, “Thanks for loving me. I’m sorry I don’t get a do-over for today, but I’m going to keep trying to be a better Dad.”

“It’s okay Dad. No Do Over necessary. I love you anyway.”

One of the coolest things I have learned about parenting is as we give to our children what we didn’t receive as a child we heal ourselves.

Just last night, both of my boys were begging to watch television. I really try to limit television especially after all of the research that has come out about its addictiveness among little ones (one article www.realtruth.org/articles/233-tta.html) as well as the older research (Just a little bit if you are interested http://www.tarletongillespie.org/syllabi/150.S02/murray.html.).

Needless to say, I gave in and we watched a movie together. As I was sitting there with my two boys, I had waves of memory pour through me as to how television was a part of my connecting with my parents. Neither of my parents really knew how to be present with me, slow down and “just be”. I don’t remember a time where they let their guard down and allowed themselves to be free, to be a kid and just play with me.

I really get why this was difficult for them as there is so much to do every day, especially with kids. The only time I got them to quite down and sit was when we would watch a movie together. Here I was doing the same thing with my boys and I realized that I make such an effort to be present with them that sometimes just that in itself is exhausting. This defeats the purpose of being present, I realized, as I work so hard at it that I loose that “just being” quality.

Sometimes you fight your past in order to do a better job. But, maybe sometimes it is just about finding the balance. Letting go, allowing experiences to emerge and realizing that you do the best you can with the tools you have. We are all human and asking more of ourselves then that isn’t really fair. Some day, my boys will remember the times I spent with them being present and they will also remember the times I spent sitting with them, snuggling, watching a movie.

I feel honored to have my boys in my life. To have them as my teachers so I can see things more clearly than I ever could have without children. It is exhausting absolutely but at the same time it is joyous, healing and beautiful. And, as I “dance” with my boys I learn that the healing comes naturally. I don’t need to “try” to be better. When I let go and am naturally present, joyous and loving, I am automatically freed from my past. As I allow myself to live in the present, to love my boys for who they are, I become a better parent by virtue of my ability to relax, let go and enjoy the ride.