Have you ever had a bunch of plans laid out for how things were going to go for the entire week and then by Monday night had them all blow up in your face? Laura came back into the studio to discuss how within 24 hours of the start of the week she had gone from Mother of the Year to Mommy Dearest. Ok, well not really and honestly it was all in her own mind, but I think you understand what we are saying. Sometimes we try to be the best parent we can be and it turns out that we are actually our own worst enemy.

Are you like Laura in that you set your expectations so high that it almost makes them unattainable and then you beat yourself up after you don’t reach them? Laura talks about what has helped her through these times and how all moms can be better without being “good” at all.

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I can’t believe I am saying this but I agree with Rick Santorum. His 2005 book, “It Takes a Family” is an important read that can lead to some great family discussions. However, he also misses the boat a great deal, and I make sure to point those out as well. I have to be Fair & Balanced. I touched on whether Feminists or Politicians are responsible for the struggles our children are going through.

Ultimately this lead to the discussion of Tommy Jordan’s video in response to his daughter’s very mean Facebook post. He shot her laptop 7 times. His reaction has been praised and lauded all over the country but from our small broadcast booth, I felt it wasn’t our job to judge him, too much, but it was our job to ask whether or not he is willing to take responsibility for putting himself in this position with his daughter. Too many parents don’t want the blame, they only want the accolades. Why? We discuss.

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Have you had that moment recently when you sat and looked at your child, I mean really looked at your child and realized it wasn’t really him or her? It was actually you? I know it sounds weird but I had this experience the other day as my son was sitting on a piano stool staring at his piano getting ready to play. Well, he wasn’t really doing that. He was staring at it because he was pissed off that his mom kept telling him he had to practice. He didn’t even know I was standing there. He was screaming, “I don’t want to practice, I hate this.” It was as though I was Ebineezer Scrooge and had been transported back in time and was watching myself at the piano.

I could see it all so clearly. My mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner. I was over in the corner of the living room banging hard on the piano because I hated the song I was told to practice and I didn’t want to do it anymore. I was yelling at my mom and getting angrier by the second. My mom was getting upset as well, and when she would, she went to that “sweet” voice that pissed me off even more. I recall this day so vividly because it was that day I gave up on playing the piano. Do I regret it as my parents have so often said I would? No. Do I wish I knew how to play the piano better? Maybe…ok yes, but that’s not the point. I can play it. I know notes. I can assist my child if they need it, though he never likes it when I do.

Back to 2012, as I sat there and watched my son get so frustrated all I could do was laugh at myself. What an ass I must have looked like throwing a tantrum over practicing my piano. I also laughed at my wife and I as parents, thinking it was so crucial to practice the piano over and over. Why must we as parents be so adamant about practicing? Did our son sign up for piano? Or did we sign him up because we thought it was a good idea? Well, he actually brought it up first but still, will it make a huge difference in his life if he continues to play the piano? No. It will teach him that if he throws big enough tantrums he can get out of anything. That’s what I learned as a kid. I just want to tell him that if he wants to get good at something, it takes practice. If he doesn’t to be good at something, then he can choose not to do it. Then I will play some Billy Joel and Elton John while cooking dinner.

The result of Whitney Houston dying can be used for good. It can create a conversation about drugs in your family. Have her music playing in the background, but have that talk. Maybe you tried drugs once and didn’t have an issue, but maybe your child is more like Whitney Houston than you. Todd and Laura discuss what will some day be a difficult discussion with their kids.

They also rehash a Valentine’s Day without chocolate, Roses or sex. Then why was it such a great night? Something magical did happen.

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Remember those days gone by when you were 4 or 5 years old and going to school was torture? Do you remember looking out the windows and longingly wishing you were outside playing? What if you could be outside all day, playing in the mud, singing songs and being with the animals? Yes, that still exists and no, this is not an episode of Portlandia!

The Co-Founders of Mother Earth School, Kelly Hogan and April Blair joined Todd to talk about what everyone has been linking to on Facebook. Kids don’t need longer hours in the classroom. They need their classrooms to be outdoors. There is scientific evidence now backing these theories. These two women don’t need those theories though they admit they help. They see children flourish right in front of their eyes everyday in the middle of a huge forest within minutes of downtown Portland.

Whether it’s Movement Based Education, (not being stuck behind a desk), Preventative Discipline (not being stuck behind a desk) or Alternative Education (get out from being behind the desk!), something needs to change and these women are doing it.

Interested? Tired of seeing your kid only enjoy recess at school or struggle to get out the door in the morning? Give a listen. Get involved. Something different is happening here and these women tell you all why.

Valentine’s Day is coming up quick! Are you getting that special someone flowers this year? I would suggest you think about where you buy your flowers first before you plop down $20-$50 bucks on a bunch. They may look nice, smell great and appear beautiful, but they are leaving a brutal carbon footprint and they are actually full of deadly chemicals.

Do you want a Rose that has been dipped is pesticide or one that is naturally beautiful and grown in your own state? We interviewed Josef Reiter, the owner of Botanica Floral Design and talked about the difference between flowers grown in Portland or in your home town vs the ones that are imported into our country, which most are.

Do you actually know the process that flowers go through before you buy them at a supermarket and at many Floral shops? You will after this show and you will not want to buy certain types of flowers again.

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Trudy Ludwig is a children’s author and focus on Bullying. She has written 7 books, including the award winning, “Confessions of a Former Bully”

Whether it was Relational Aggression, Cyberbullying or what is working in schools to combat Bullying and what is not, we talked about it. The State of Oregon has their policies in place but are they really helping? Bullying is a problem in our schools, but you will find out it’s not the only place to fix it. We leave you with tools and resources to help your children what can be a very difficult time.

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Laura and I had one of those shows, where we didn’t agree. She was wrong. I was right. It got as heated as we often get on the show. She made her points, of which I totally sliced right through. However, the longer we talked, and I think that was always her plan, the more I began to see what she was talking about. But I am a stubborn man. At one point, I told her out loud, “I hate you.” Now that was not part of our vows 14 years ago, but it was part of this show. Find out why I said it and her reaction to it on this episode. You may find out that you want to say it to your spouse too.

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You have a brand new beautiful baby. Changes are in store. Not just in the first year, but in the years to come. You will enjoy all the beautiful moments, but you might get frustrated by the lack of intellectual stimulation.

Jennifer Niesslein, co-founder of Brain, Child Magazine joined us to talk about some of the great stories they have put out over the last 12 years. Whether they are light and fun pieces or others dealing with Anorexia, Brain, Child Magazine creates a stimulating magazine every month that is worth it’s weight in gold to all parents. There is a reason that they call it the magazine for thinking mothers.

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In our Parenting Unplugged Radio program, aired on January 4^th, 2012, I brought up an idea called, “The Angry Jar”. It’s where anyone in our family who loses their temper has to put a small fee in case they “lose it”. For the kids it’s .25 cents, for Dad it’s $1. At the end of each week, we have a drawing to see who gets to keep all the cash. The idea was born out of two 12 hour car rides with the two boys and me. At times, it was pleasant. At times, I earned my two dollars in fines. So, we talked about ideas that might work to help us with our tempers. The boys and I came up with the idea of rather than taking something away, as in a toy or time or love, we thought money might be a way to do it. It would have two lessons, one about money and one about our temperament.

Todd Adams of Zen Parenting did not agree with this as an idea. But what the hell does he know? He’s raising kids in Chicago for crying out loud! I kid because I care. I went to school in Chicago and Todd is a very knowledgeable parent. In fact, more should listen to him.

The objective of this idea is to create awareness around losing your temper. If you have one, then you know. When you lose it, you usually don’t know how bad you did. You flip your lid. I have never really realized how loud I get or how mean I may be. Now the deal is, anyone in the family can call you out on it. To you it may not appear like a temper burst, but if someone calls you on it, then you have to pay the piper.

So, what is this teaching us?

Todd Adams, thinks this will teach kids to stuff their emotions. If he is right, then I should be awarded the Crappiest Parent of the Year award because stuffing emotions is what I learned to do most of my life. So his point could be very valid, because often we only copy what was done to us. However, I don’t think it will create that. I want to teach my kids about responsibility and accountability. I feel losing your temper is a good thing. However, I am not a fan of directing that anger at anyone else. It’s important to teach kids how to let it out.

I am hoping that the “Angry Jar” creates an opportunity for Pause. Because it is scientifically proven that if kids are able to stop and name their emotion, they don’t lose their temper. The Angry Jar is my goal to create a deterrent that creates that Pause. Maybe in that Pause, the kids and I will gather our thoughts, leave the room and go into our bedrooms and beat the crap out of our pillows or our bed. Better that than screaming at Mom.

Why did I choose money? I chose it because the boys understand that dollars can buy things and in our family if they want something special, they can use their own money to buy it. We are on a tight budget and if we bought a $1 toy every time we go to the store, we would be spending an extra $500 a year. This is not the last idea I will try with my kids and myself. There will be others in 2012. Keep listening to Zen Parenting for all of their great ideas and tips, while I also suggest you jump over to Parenting Unplugged Radio every now and again to see how and what we are doing. Plus, don’t forget what’s most important, share the shows with a friend. I look forward to your responses…